22 February 2014

Rockin' the world

6:14 AM

Can you imagine being apart of a ministry that packs houses like this?  Ever since I was introduced to Priscilla Shirer through her Gideon study this past summer - I have fallen in love with her ministry.  I have enjoyed watching how she travels the world ministering the Word undiluted in her very own way. I love her passion for Christ and her family. I love her!

So when she posted this picture last night on Instagram I thought "wow." Someone made the comment, "When you see numbers like these...why are we as Christians not rocking the world as we should be?"  That question stayed with me because I agree.

God has given us dominion, but you know, I'm guilty of living defeated at times.  I shared about my heartbreak and feeling stuck this past week not for anyone to feel sorry for me, but because I know my sisters who read my blog may also go through that heartbreak and discouragement. That sometimes in this crazy, beautiful, big world, we feel defeated. 

So why aren't we rocking the world?  Well who says we're not? I believe we are! Personally, I know I can focus so much on the darker times, that I feel like my light has been diminished. Coming out of this recent situation has caused me to question my worth. It's hard to rock the world when you are doing that.

The key to us Christians rocking the world is keeping our eyes on the One we represent. It's hard to rock when I'm focused on my heartbreak or my worth or my work or everything else. I can stand strong when I am standing in Him. When I know His strength is perfect. When I know He has ordered the days. When I know in Him I have my breathing. When I know He is Alpha, Omega, the Beginning, the End, the Author and Finisher of our faith. Simply put - He rocks!

Because He rocks - we as Christians can rock when we focus on all that He is. 

With that I leave you with a message from Priscilla about who He is. 

 

You rock!

21 February 2014

20 February 2014

A wake up call

6:29 AM

I laid in bed with the covers over my mouth and silently wept. Lord I've been in this place too long and I'm ready to move on.  The next morning after I dropped my son off to school, I sobbed out loud. Lord, why?

That's where I've been the past two months, with intermittent moments of encouraging myself and making peace that I'll be ok.

This morning I woke up and in the middle of my writing I thought "you are amazing." It wasn't a pep talk moment to get me going. It was a moment where my soul spoke. As if it peeked around the corner making sure it was ok to come out from hiding in all my hurt. It was as if everything in me was standing at attention to acknowledge the moment I allowed myself to hear "you are amazing."

You are.
 
A dear friend told me a few weeks ago, "Niecy, you are choosing your suffering."  I received those words, and my soul has been waiting patiently for me to let it go.

It is hard for anyone to believe that I have moments where speaking up is extremely difficult for me. I can write all day long. Text. Email. Blog. I express myself in writing so well. Yet when it comes time to speak my truth - I sometimes shy away from it all. 

Today I wrote in my journal "I need to start giving my voice a chance." My voice. Not just my words but my voice. Today I need to start getting comfortable with speaking my truth. 
 
Shortly after I wrote this post, a friend posted the following on instagram.  It felt good with the release my soul was standing up for this morning.



16 February 2014

Heartbreak

9:11 PM


I have spent the last few months heartbroken. Completely. In a place I never imagined myself again. Sitting with my heart broken wide open.

It has been hard. Fighting for any bit of joy to get through my days. Oh how I remember this feeling. It hurts.

Yet there are some important lessons that being broken wide open has taught me:

1. God is real in my life. He was there the last time. He was there this time. He will be there the next time.

2. I was made to love. Deeply. Passionately. Loyally. Full on. It's the only way I'm willing to love. I am grateful for the way I love. I'm grateful that I do love. I'm grateful that I will love.

3. I have amazing friends. When I walked through my divorce, I was just a baby in my early twenties. My friends were super supportive, but I was the first to get married, the first to have a kid, the first to go through this kind of heartbreak. Now that we have all matured, my friends have experienced their own heartbreaks at one time or another, and their support has been unreal.

4. I will love - again and again. I am so proud of my heart. Even though it's been completely broken wide open, it is brave and will keep loving, again and again.  You have to be willing to sit with the pain and brokenness for a while to honor the way love showed up for you. I could easily tell a story in my head, take my attention elsewhere, or hurry the process, but that wouldn't honor the amazing work love did. I won't shortchange my heart just to get over it.  I will choose to sit with my heart. Even when it hurts.

I'm sure out of this will come many lessons I learn along the way that I'll share. I honestly never expected to be in this place again. I was good. Living happily focused completely on my son. Praying for God to keep me hidden until my prepared one was ready. Remember? So I'm finding my way back to what this all means again. I'm trusting God even more.

Love is a beautiful adventure and worth daring for. Great love takes great risks.



05 February 2014

Rahab

9:30 PM

Tonight I started reading the story of Rahab. You know, King David's great-great grandmother who was formerly a prostitute. The one who God used to deliver Jericho to His people.

I am moved by Rahab. I am stirred by the fact that Rahab lived a life that we would judge and throw away. Yet even she knew God. She didn't live for God, but she feared Him. Sometimes our fear of God will be the very thing that saves us.

I am amazed how God used Rahab's character flaw to be the very thing that propelled her destiny. You see, if Rahab had been a "virtuous woman", married, and led a different lifestyle, when she said to them "they came to me," they would have been suspicious and questioned her. Because of her character flaw, when she told them this, they probably figured it was just business as usual for Rahab. Her character flaw, being a prostitute, is the very thing God used to protect His destiny.

Rahab was faithful to a God she did not have a personal relationship with, yet God knew her and used her to fulfill His destiny. Do you get how powerful that really is? 

All day long we disqualify people because of their sin. We disqualify ourselves. God can't use them. God won't use us. Rahab's story is a message of hope, grace, mercy, faith - all in one. If God hand-picked Rahab, a nonbeliever, to advance His plan - you can't even begin to fathom what He has in store for you. 

Where is your faith? When God calls, will you respond? The message of Rahab gives me goosebumps. 

God. Uses. People. Period. 

Rahab. Prostitute. Risk taker. David's great-great grandmother. Matriarch in King Jesus' lineage. Woman in the Faith Hall of Fame (Hebrews 11). Redeemed.

That's the God we serve.


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