14 September 2013

Not my best

 

This is currently the number I see on the scale.  It's actually the number I've seen on the scale for the past 10+ years.  It is not the number that bothers me.  Many of the ideal weight charts say the ideal range for a 6 foot woman is anywhere between 145-172lbs.  I have been in the low 150s since I was in tip-top shape as a Division 1 college volleyball player and as a post-partum mommy with no real work-out regimen.

This is the weight my body likes.  What this number means to me is not as much as how it feels on me.  My max weight of 154lbs when I was playing volleyball in college and squatting 280 felt good.  The 135lbs I weighed when I was going through the turmoil in my marriage didn't feel good.  My grandma didn't think so either. She made a remark to me that one day that I "looked like I had been locked in the basement with no food".  So trust me when I say...it is not this number that bothers me.

I was meant to live a fit life.  I love running (now).  I love practicing yoga.  I love being active.  I love seeing how my mind and body respond to treating it good.  My eating habits are directly related to how active I am...and lately I've been slacking.  So when I see this number right now, I know it is made up of weeks of eating fast food because I haven't been properly planning my meals, inactivity, and quite simply...not my best.

That is when the number starts to bother me.  When it is a reflection of me not being my best, and not a reflection of my total well being of mind,  body, and soul.  I don't expect the number to change much...I don't need it to.  My body feels good at this number when I'm treating it right.  I need to hold myself accountable.  Not to a number...but to a better lifestyle.  To being my best. 

Connect with me on instagram where I share my better: @niecytaylor

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