Blocked

October was a great month for my life...which means it was a great month for ministry, since I pray that my life is my ministry.  The Lord blessed me to speak on several occasions, and I was truly humbled for the opportunity to share.

Then something happened.  I got tired. I got busy. My coffee with Christ time at 5:30 am ceased to exist.  I felt, and have been feeling, distanced from God. Every morning for the past 2 weeks, I've been waking up at 4am, a full hour before my alarm goes off. I know this is God prompting me to spend time with Him, but I feel blocked. I lay there and waste away the hours. 6am - time for the hustle and bustle of getting out the house to begin. Another opportunity to spend intimate time with my Lord passed.

So I'm sitting here today because obviously I know better. The more days that go by, the more distant I feel. The more difficult it is for me to pick up my prayer journal and pour my heart out to the One who has always remained the same. Waiting there for me.

I feel blocked and I need it to break. I realize all that is needed for it to break is for me to say "Lord I come".

God has patiently sat there and deposited in my spirit that building a relationship with Him takes work just like building a relationship with anyone else. It requires my commitment, my time, my devotion. It requires communication. It requires sacrifice. The reason I am feeling so blocked is because the longer I wait to break the void, the more distance grows between us. (sounds eerily familiar to my marriage).  A relationship requires two people showing up, and I haven't been showing up.

Ok I'm ready to do the work. Lord, I come.




6 comments :

  1. This post really hit home for me. It's been a while since I've spoken with him. I feel like I slip ALL the way OFF. I'm so far gone I don't he even sees me. My mother raised me from birth to pray before bed and after I wake. Some how over the years I felt ashamed and turnt off by the idea during my teenage years. I'm slowly trying to step back in the rythm the older I get. I want to raise my daughter as my mother raised me.

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    1. He sees you and cares for you and is waiting for you. While the values that we learn during childhood are important, we have to remember 1 Thessalonians 5:17 - pray without ceasing. God bless You. He's there waiting for you to say "Lord, I come". Please come back and share with me how things are going.

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  2. I have been feeling the same way. I find it hard to talk to God because I feel like I need to be eloquent in my prayer even though I know better. I get in these seasons where I have to force myself to be close to him. You said a mouthful with Lord, I come. That's all He really wants.

    Great post. Thanks!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Mimi! So glad that we don't hav to be all eloquent. Some times, we don't need to say anything. Praying for you. I know all about those seasons. Lord, here Your girls come!

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