13 April 2012

Purpose


This is the question of the day? Everyone seems to be talking about it. Everyone seems to be looking for it. We admire those that seem to be living on purpose. So what is it? How do you know when you find it? What does it feel like to truly be living on purpose?

Here I sat this past Monday night, tuned in to Oprah's Life Class with Bishop TD Jakes, pencil and pad in hand like a student in life's classroom. The topic: purpose. I have heard Bishop preach on purpose many times. He started this new year with a series on purpose in which I stayed home from my church for nearly a month to stream the Bishop's sermons live.

I believe fully in living on purpose. I believe in creating the life you imagined. I believe God really wants that for each of us.

So while my spirit has been asking all kinds of questions this week after Monday night's session, some crazy things in our world happened. Tuesday I finally went to the doctor because the pain in my leg was spreading from my calf to my hamstring and achilles. The doctor determined I had in deed torn my calf muscle and that I just needed to take a week and stay off it so the healing process could begin. That all sounded good, but I knew I had a client tapping their foot waiting for me to arrive at their office. So taking the time to rest so the healing of my calf could begin would have to wait for now.

Then later this week, we all watched as Hilary Rosen was condemned and made to apologize for saying Ann Romney had "never worked a day in her life". We all know what she meant and without getting into a political analysis here, for some reason the world wants to say those words waged war on Mommyhood. Then yesterday, I received a message from the one who brought me in to the world of fundraising. I admire her so much because she's been doing this far longer than I have, she's my mentor, my mommy friend, and just all around amazing. She told me she was half way through an 8 week recovery for a foot surgery. She was working half days at home because she couldn't keep away from work. Why is this? Why are we not allowed to listen to our bodies cries for healing? Why can't we take the time to be? All of this stirred my spirit even more.

Here's why: I decided to become a consultant and small business owner because I desired and needed the freedom to be here when my son is sick, to be able to work a full day and leave the office by 3 to pick him up from school, and yes - when needed - to take a week to work from home so that I can give myself a chance to rest so the healing can begin.

Instead - what I feel I have created is a bunch of bosses all vying for my time. All wanting to know when I can come to their offices, what I can do for them, and how fast I can do it. I get it. I do. It what I am talented at doing. Oh but as Bishop said on Monday - "don't confuse talent with purpose'. This week - just this week - I needed to take some time for me, some time to rest, some time to heal. On top of that, my son is on spring break, and while my mom has been great in helping keep him so I can still run from office to office, (more like jerking around town, hobbling on one good leg), I just wanted to spend time with him. I wanted to enjoy his spring break with him without feeling guilty, without feeling like I was letting someone down, or dropping the ball on something.

So what do you do when the purpose you created for yourself seems to not be what you imagined? Bishop told us to not stop at where you are as if it were the destination when it may just be the transportation to the destination. Keep traveling.

If you're going to walk on water - you have to get out of the boat.

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