26 April 2012

I Will Wait For You

10:24 AM
By: Poet Janette...ikz

So it seemed that it was cool for everyone to be in a relationship but me.
So I took matters into my own hands and ended up with him.
Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, and a thief.
So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?
I called 911 but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting cause it was me who let him in.
Claiming we were just friends.
It was already decided for me by the first date that even if he wasn't I was going to make him the one.
You know I was tired of being alone and I simply made up in my mind that it was about that time so I decided to drag him along for the ride because I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride.
A virgin in the physical but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat who was tired of the wait - so I was going to make him the one.
He had a form of God-liness - but not much.
But hey - I can change him. So I'll take him. I mean he's close - enough.
Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me.
Arteries so clogged with my will it blocked His will from flowing through me.
So I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart and attack that flat-lined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back.
Through my ignorance he saw.
So through my sternum he sawed and cracked open my chest to transplant Psalms 51:10.
A new heart and renewed right spirit within.
So now I fully understand, better yet I thoroughly comprehend how much I need to wait for you.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn't you from the beginning.
Cause in the beginning was the Word, and he didn't even sound or shine like Your Son.
Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings.
Which meant nothing.
He couldn't even pray when I needed him to. Asking him to fast would be absurd.
So, forget about being cleansed and washed with water through the Word.
But I know you. You're already praying for me.
Even though you haven't met me, let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you.
To appease my boredom or to quench my thirsty desire for attention and short lived compliments from sorta kindas.
You know - he's sorta kinda right but sorta kinda wrong.
His first name Luke, his last name Warm.
I won't settle for false companionship.
I won't lay in the embrace of his arms attempting to find some closeness but never feeling so far apart because I just want to be held.
Cause all I gotta do is say - NO.
No more almost sessions of almost coming close.
Passing winks and buying drinks and I'm a...I'm a..I'm a flirt.
Who flirts with the ideology of "can you just tell me how much I can get away with and still be saved?"
No more.
I'll stay in my bed. Alone and right poems about how I will wait for you.

He won't even come close. Our fingers won't even interlock.  We won't even exchange breaths cause I have thoughts that I have saved to ask and our Father God has only equipped you to open.
I will no longer get weighted down from so called friends and family talks
About their concern for my biological clock.
When I serve the Author of Time.
Who is not subject to time but I am subject to Him.
He has the ability to stop, fast forward, pause and rewind at any given time.
So if we  could role play you would be Abraham and I would be Sarah.
Or you could Isaac and I could be Rebecca.
A servant's answered prayer.
I am bone of your bone. Flesh of your flesh. Made up of your rib Adam.
And once we meet, like electrons I will be bound to your nucleus.
Completely indivisible atom.
We even speak the same math.
1+1+1=3.
Which really equals 1 if you add 'em.
We were all created in His image.
But you have the ability to reflect, project and even detect the Son.
If I were to explain what you look like, you would have to look like a star.
A son of the Son.
I would gain energy simply from the Light that you shine on me.
I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis.
I await your revelation but once again from the genesis I will wait for you.

And I will know you.
Because when you speak - I will be reminded of Soloman's wisdom.
Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses.
Your faith will remind me of Abraham.
Your confidence in God's Word will remind of Daniel.
Your inspiration will remind me of Paul.
Your heart for God will remind me of David.
Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah.
Your integrity will remind me of Joseph.
And your ability to abandon your own will will remind me of the disciples.
But your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ.
But I won't need to identify you by any special matthews or any specials marks
Cause His Word will be tatted all over your heart.
And you will know me and you will find me.
Where the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.
Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary.
Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.
I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31.
Waiting for you.

But to my Father.
My Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth.
Only if You should see fit.
I desire Your will above mine.
So even if You call me to a life of singleness.
My heart is content with You the One who was sent.
You are the greatest Love Story ever told.
The greatest Love ever known.
You are forever my judge and I'm forever Your witness.
And I pray that I'm always found on a mission about my Father's business.
I will always be Yours.
And I will always wait for You Lord.
More than the watchmen wait for the morning.
More than the watchmen wait for the morning.
I will wait.










13 April 2012

Purpose

8:57 AM

This is the question of the day? Everyone seems to be talking about it. Everyone seems to be looking for it. We admire those that seem to be living on purpose. So what is it? How do you know when you find it? What does it feel like to truly be living on purpose?

Here I sat this past Monday night, tuned in to Oprah's Life Class with Bishop TD Jakes, pencil and pad in hand like a student in life's classroom. The topic: purpose. I have heard Bishop preach on purpose many times. He started this new year with a series on purpose in which I stayed home from my church for nearly a month to stream the Bishop's sermons live.

I believe fully in living on purpose. I believe in creating the life you imagined. I believe God really wants that for each of us.

So while my spirit has been asking all kinds of questions this week after Monday night's session, some crazy things in our world happened. Tuesday I finally went to the doctor because the pain in my leg was spreading from my calf to my hamstring and achilles. The doctor determined I had in deed torn my calf muscle and that I just needed to take a week and stay off it so the healing process could begin. That all sounded good, but I knew I had a client tapping their foot waiting for me to arrive at their office. So taking the time to rest so the healing of my calf could begin would have to wait for now.

Then later this week, we all watched as Hilary Rosen was condemned and made to apologize for saying Ann Romney had "never worked a day in her life". We all know what she meant and without getting into a political analysis here, for some reason the world wants to say those words waged war on Mommyhood. Then yesterday, I received a message from the one who brought me in to the world of fundraising. I admire her so much because she's been doing this far longer than I have, she's my mentor, my mommy friend, and just all around amazing. She told me she was half way through an 8 week recovery for a foot surgery. She was working half days at home because she couldn't keep away from work. Why is this? Why are we not allowed to listen to our bodies cries for healing? Why can't we take the time to be? All of this stirred my spirit even more.

Here's why: I decided to become a consultant and small business owner because I desired and needed the freedom to be here when my son is sick, to be able to work a full day and leave the office by 3 to pick him up from school, and yes - when needed - to take a week to work from home so that I can give myself a chance to rest so the healing can begin.

Instead - what I feel I have created is a bunch of bosses all vying for my time. All wanting to know when I can come to their offices, what I can do for them, and how fast I can do it. I get it. I do. It what I am talented at doing. Oh but as Bishop said on Monday - "don't confuse talent with purpose'. This week - just this week - I needed to take some time for me, some time to rest, some time to heal. On top of that, my son is on spring break, and while my mom has been great in helping keep him so I can still run from office to office, (more like jerking around town, hobbling on one good leg), I just wanted to spend time with him. I wanted to enjoy his spring break with him without feeling guilty, without feeling like I was letting someone down, or dropping the ball on something.

So what do you do when the purpose you created for yourself seems to not be what you imagined? Bishop told us to not stop at where you are as if it were the destination when it may just be the transportation to the destination. Keep traveling.

If you're going to walk on water - you have to get out of the boat.

07 April 2012

Food With Friends

9:28 AM
I have to tell you - my friends know all the best places to eat. Like really - food shouldn't be this good - but it is.

This week's Food With Friends was an office outing to Rio Chama in Santa Fe on the Old Santa Fe Trail. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves:

I had a half BLT sandwich with sweet potato fries and this amazing black pepper mayonnaise.



Ryan went with this short rib sandwich with sweet potato fries and an amazing chipotle ketchup.


Sarah had a crab cake salad. Yum.


...and Jodi had the Chamlette with potatoes.

We ate ....and we ate good!

Of course, as always, we ended the outing a Ellie's YoBerri - this week I had Blackberry & Classic with the usual - chocolate chips and caramel sauce!

You'll have to check out Rio Chama on Old Santa Fe Trail. It was certainly a delight!

02 April 2012

This week in photos

4:36 PM
I started running again last week to train for my first 5k on May 6th. It's the Annual Run for the Zoo. It should be fun!

I got this little nugget of motivation from Black Girl Run!


I found a little gem in a to go cup. Who knew Nutella was so good?


Some games just never go out of style!


My dad made me a banana split...

World Market featured Moscato week - the Cupcake Moscato definitely won the battle between the two...

I enjoyed a little sun in the backyard and expressed gratitude for the simple things in life...


Munchkin once again received straight A's on his report card. We celebrated with treats from Sonic...


I enjoyed a little throw back action this past Thursday. Didn't my mom raise some little divas?


..and a little flash forward to what life may be like in 13 years - although I'm sure the car won't be pink.

I enjoyed some of the best Brie cheese I have ever had...



...and made on of my favorite treats - fresh mozarella and roma tomatoes on artisan bread.


I admired this picture of First Lady Michelle Obama. She brings a new definition to the strong, professional mommy role. I love her.



...and that's my week in photos. Life is good.







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